There was once a girl who had a miscarriage. Then, a few years later, she had another one. And then another one right after that. These miscarriages were all very different, very painful, very emotional. All ended the same way--in a hospital bed with that girl feeling empty and alone.
Except for the first miscarriage which is truly a whole other story in itself, she faced her losses with a loving husband, supportive mother, and the ability to swallow back up the situations without more than a couple of people knowing. All three losses ate away at her though.
But, after taking a good step back, that girl finally gave each one a lot of thought. And she read this post. And she heard one important sermon about why God lets good people suffer. And she heard "Let it Go" from Frozen and she sang it over and over again--true story.
A million other things happened too and, mercifully, over time her eyes were slowly opened to some things she desperately needed to learn. These were things she'd heard before, but until going through her suffering, she didn't fully understand them. But now, she can reflect and find peace in her newly gained perspective.
1. Without suffering, how would we gain experience, understanding, and wisdom? We couldn't. It's so easy to coast along during the good times, but without setbacks, our lives would remain shallow. Romans 5:3-5 says, "We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character, and hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts."
2. Be kind to everyone and show compassion. We cannot possibly know what is going on in others' lives. Truly everyone is fighting their own battles.
3. It's not ok to speculate on and gossip about other women and their fertility and/or possibilities of being pregnant. The girl learned this the hard way. One of her friends warned her about this years ago but it wasn't until recently that she matured enough to get it.
4. Unless you have been there/done that and can commiserate with whoever is suffering, often the best kind of sympathy is silent.
5. One woman's fertility is not affected by another's. Even if it's hard to do so through tear-laced eyes, congratulate those who announce their pregnancy. Welcome their baby with open arms. Babies are gifts and miracles.
6. We all still have so much to learn and experience--both good and bad.
7. It is a tough existence to live your life in 30-day cycles. Take a breath, enjoy the seasons, celebrate happy events, and experience life as a whole.
8. It could always be so much worse. The girl just read a story today about a sweet four-year-old boy whose parents just found out that the tumor in his brain has tripled in size since the brain surgery he had a couple of weeks ago. She has heard too many times about women who lost babies at full term, or mothers who gave birth to little ones facing certain death. Do these situations garner more compassion than a few first trimester miscarriages? Of course they do. Compared to some mothers, this girl has it easy.
9. God is good--ALL THE TIME. We don't need to understand His plan in order to have peace in our lives. We cannot possibly see the big picture and how our sufferings and losses fit into it, but we can be sure that it's all shaping us to walk down the righteous path.
The girl has made more mistakes than she could ever count and she has stood in direct opposition to each and every one of the things she's listed above. But she doesn't mourn the past and her lack of perspective. Rather, she is looking toward the future with her arms stretched out to the heavens above.
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